Explore inspirational quotes.
| I do come across... | I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out. Copy Copy I do come across people⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| I love women, but... | I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar. Copy Copy I love women, but I⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| I think a lot... | I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. Copy Copy I think a lot of⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| I think since I... | I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. Copy Copy I think since I was⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| I wanna make a... | I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' Copy Copy I wanna make a jigsaw⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| I wrapped my Christmas... | I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. Copy Copy I wrapped my Christmas presents⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| If you can't tell... | If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! Copy Copy If you can't tell a⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| It's funny: when people... | It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible. Copy Copy It's funny: when people always⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| Stand up is really... | Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. Copy Copy Stand up is really fun⦠copied to clipboard | ||
| The comedians I liked... | The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. Copy Copy The comedians I liked were⦠copied to clipboard |
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