nan: I Am Fast. To Give You A Reference...

Quote	I Am Fast. To Give You A Reference Point I Am Somewhere Between A Snake And A Mongoose… And A Panther. Copy
Category	The Office
Quote Length	Medium
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Quote: I don't come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

I don't come up...

Quote: It's simply beyond words. It's incalculable.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

It's simply beyond words....

Quote: How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working. Alpha male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable.
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Author:
Dwight
Category:
The Office

How would I describe...

Quote: Abraham Lincoln once said that, 'If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North.' And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

Abraham Lincoln once said...

Quote: Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. 'Cause of your butt.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

Hate to see you...

Quote: Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

Guess what, I have...

Quote: I'm sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans!
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

I'm sinking a few,...

Quote: I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat.
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Author:
Pam Beesly
Category:
The Office

I don’t care what...

Quote: Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

Jim and I are...

Quote: If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

If I had a...

Quote: Sometimes The Clothes At Gap Kids Are Too Flashy, So I’m Forced To Go To The American Girl Store And Order Clothes For Large Colonial Dolls.
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Author:
Category:
The Office

Sometimes The Clothes At...

Quote: FeelGodChili's
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

FeelGodChili's...

Quote: It’s performance review day, company
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Author:
Pam Beesly
Category:
The Office

It’s performance review day,...

Quote: I don’t care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin.
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Author:
Dwight
Category:
The Office

I don’t care what...

Quote: Through Concentration, I Can Raise And Lower My Cholesterol At Will.
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Author:
Category:
The Office

Through Concentration, I Can...

Quote: I’m a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me, I am better at hiding than they are… at vision.
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Author:
Dwight
Category:
The Office

I’m a deer hunter....

Quote: Well, I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us.
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Author:
Phyllis Vance
Category:
The Office

Well, I just think...

Quote: When I die, I wanna be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died and what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
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Author:
Dwight
Category:
The Office

When I die, I...

Quote: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What’s he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants… he says something ordinary like… ‘yo, thats shizzle.’ Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

Close your eyes. Picture...

Quote: It’s true. I’m having a party. I’ve got three cases of imported beer, a karaoke machine, and I didn’t invite Michael. So three ingredients for a great party. And it’s nothing personal, I just think that if he were there, people wouldn’t be able to relax, and you know, have fun, and my roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks that I’m making Dwight up. [sighs] He is very real.
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Author:
Jim
Category:
The Office

It’s true. I’m having...

Quote: I taught Mike some, uh, phrases to help with his interracial conversations. You know, stuff like, “Fleece it out. “Going mach five. “Dinkin’ flicka. You know, things us Negroes say.
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Author:
Darryl
Category:
The Office

I taught Mike some,...

Quote: Jim told me you could buy gay-dar online.
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Author:
Dwight Schrute
Category:
The Office

Jim told me you...

Quote: When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.
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Author:
Creed Bratton
Category:
The Office

When I was a...

Quote: That was offensive and lame. So double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

That was offensive and...

Quote: An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to... An office is a place where dreams come true.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

An office is for...

Quote: About 40 times a year, Michael gets sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

About 40 times a...

Quote: Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.
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Author:
Andy Bernard
Category:
The Office

Sorry I annoyed you...

Quote: You guys, I’m like really smart now. You don’t even know.
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Author:
Kelly Kapoor
Category:
The Office

You guys, I’m like...

Quote: I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well, I like pretzel day.
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Author:
Stanley
Category:
The Office

I wake up every...

Quote: Well, it's love at first sight. Actually, it was... No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.
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Author:
Michael Scott
Category:
The Office

Well, it's love at...

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