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Quote I find, when you're an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you.
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Find on Amazon Simon Sinek

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I basically started performing...
Quote: Robin Williams Funny I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. Robin Williams Funny
The first day one...
Quote: Jean de la Bruyere Funny The first day one is a guest, the second a burden, and the third a pest. Jean de la Bruyere Funny
I was eating in...
Quote: Paul Simon Funny I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one. Paul Simon Funny
It's funny, the moment...
Quote: Sylvie Meis Funny It's funny, the moment you dread the most, seeing yourself bald, is actually not such a bad moment at all. Sylvie Meis Funny
Yes, I've seen Louis...
Quote: Chevy Chase Funny Yes, I've seen Louis CK. I wouldn't in any way make a degrading remark about Louis CK, but the question is do I think anyone is funny? And the answer is not too many people. He might fit right in there. Chevy Chase Funny
My dad was a...
Quote: Joan Cusack Funny My dad was a very funny man - he's the one who taught me life would be awfully hard without humor! I'm sure his Irish wit in some way influenced my decision to become an actress. Joan Cusack Funny
If men knew how...
Quote: O. Henry Funny If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. O. Henry Funny
Justice Scalia and I...
Quote: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Funny Justice Scalia and I served together on the D.C. Circuit. So his votes are not surprising to me. What I like about him is that he's very funny and very smart. Ruth Bader Ginsburg Funny
I grew up in...
Quote: Eddie Izzard Funny I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. Eddie Izzard Funny
Sometimes I'm really funny,...
Quote: Elle King Funny Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing. Elle King Funny

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I'm a Twitter addict....
Quote: Anthony Bourdain Funny I'm a Twitter addict. Jose Andres is a serial tweeter. It's funny to see which chefs have embraced it, and the different paths they take. Anthony Bourdain Funny
Man cannot live by...
Quote: James A. Garfield Funny Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. James A. Garfield Funny
A man's got to...
Quote: Ernest Hemingway Funny A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. Ernest Hemingway Funny
Say what you will...
Quote: H. L. Mencken Funny Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. H. L. Mencken Funny
The IRS! They're like...
Quote: Jerry Seinfeld Funny The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! Jerry Seinfeld Funny
I'm fascinated with the...
Quote: Kara Walker Funny I'm fascinated with the stories that we tell. Real histories become fantasies and fairy tales, morality tales and fables. There's something interesting and funny and perverse about the way fairytale sometimes passes for history, for truth. Kara Walker Funny
It's funny. All you...
Quote: Salinger Funny It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.J. D. Salinger Funny
I sang in the...
Quote: Paul Lynde Funny I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. Paul Lynde Funny
Nobody ever went broke...
Quote: H. L. Mencken Funny Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. H. L. Mencken Funny
Electricity is really just...
Quote: George Carlin Funny Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin Funny

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It has yet to...
Quote: Arthur C. Clarke Funny It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. Arthur C. Clarke Funny
One man's folly is...
Quote: Helen Rowland Funny One man's folly is another man's wife. Helen Rowland Funny
Being nice can be...
Quote: Ron Funches Funny Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' Ron Funches Funny
I drank some boiling...
Quote: Mitch Hedberg Funny I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. Mitch Hedberg Funny
I found there was...
Quote: Rodney Dangerfield Funny I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield Funny
I don't need you...
Quote: Stephen Fry Funny I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. Stephen Fry Funny
Why do they call...
Quote: Robin Williams Funny Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams Funny
The middle class is...
Quote: J. K. Rowling Funny The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. J. K. Rowling Funny
Turn up the lights....
Quote: O. Henry Funny Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark. O. Henry Funny
All the candy corn...
Quote: Lewis Black Funny All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. Lewis Black Funny

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You'd think skiing wouldn't...
Quote: Bruce Cameron Kindness You'd think skiing wouldn't be strenuous - all you have to do, after all, is start at the top and let gravity pull you to the dessert bar in the lodge. But at those elevations, you'll find about as much oxygen as you'll find kindness from your children. It's like spending six hours holding your breath.W. Bruce Cameron Kindness
I was blind and...
Quote: John Green Love I was blind and heart broken and didn't want to do anything and Gus burst into my room and shouted, "I have wonderful news!" And I was like, "I don't really want to hear wonderful news right now," and Gus said, "This is wonderful news you want to hear," and I asked him, "Fine, what is it?" and he said, "You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet! John Green Love
No man knows how...
Quote: C. S. Lewis No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means — the only complete realist. C. S. Lewis
You think because he...
Quote: Toni Morrison Love You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgement and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn't be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, beacuse the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can't own a human being. You can't lose what you don't own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don't, do you? And neither does he. You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself. Toni Morrison Love
I find, when you're...
Quote: Simon Sinek Funny I find, when you're an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you. Simon Sinek Funny
When you're doing a...
Quote: Ian McShane Funny, Coffee When you're doing a medieval show like 'Pillars,' it starts off a bit like a school play. You're all in funny costumes; you've had your coffee, and you say, 'Good morning'. Then you go on set and, if you've got good actors and directors, it takes on a life of its own. Ian McShane Funny, Coffee
My parents danced together,...
Quote: Patrick Rothfuss Love, Dance My parents danced together, her head on his chest. Both had their eyes closed. They seemed so perfectly content. If you can find someone like that, someone who you can hold and close your eyes to the world with, then you're lucky. Even if it only lasts for a minute or a day. The image of them gently swaying to the music is how I picture love in my mind even after all these years. Patrick Rothfuss Love, Dance
You may have noticed...
Quote: C. S. Lewis You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words: but most of your friends do not see it at all, and often wonder why, liking this, you should also like that. Again, you have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life; and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw -- but at the first words a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported. Even in your hobbies, has there not always been some secret attraction which the others are curiously ignorant of -- something, not to be identified with, but always on the verge of breaking through, the smell of cut wood in the workshop or the clap-clap of water against the boat's side? Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it -- tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest -- if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself -- you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say "Here at last is the thing I was made for". We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all. C. S. Lewis
Your real, new self...
Quote: C. S. Lewis Your real, new self (which is Christ's and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange? The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom, Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in. C. S. Lewis
When you're happy you...
Quote: Suze Orman Happiness, Happy When you're happy you find pure joy in your life. There are no regrets in this state of happiness - and that's a goal worth striving for in all areas of your life. Suze Orman Happiness, Happy