Joe Rogan: I had seen movies before that that had...

Quote	I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking. Copy
Author	Joe Rogan
Category	Funny
Quote Length	Medium
Find on Amazon	Joe Rogan

Quote: I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Author:
Spike Milligan
Category:
Funny

I can speak Esperanto...

Quote: Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice person, you're not going to last in this business. I mean, once your box office starts to drop off, like Veronica Lake, they'll get rid of you fast.
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Author:
Robert Osborne
Category:
Funny

Lana Turner was adorable...

Quote: What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern.
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Author:
Susan Orlean
Category:
Funny

What's funny is that...

Quote: As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
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Author:
Calvin Trillin
Category:
Funny

As far as I'm...

Quote: The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.
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Author:
Jimmy Fallon
Category:
Funny

The one thing you...

Quote: When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
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Author:
Jane Wagner
Category:
Funny

When we talk to...

Quote: Prince Charles is so funny. So, so funny.
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Author:
Joan Rivers
Category:
Funny

Prince Charles is so...

Quote: I've always liked being funny and making people laugh. I was a cut-up when I was a kid and was always doing bits for my friends and family. I remember doing pratfalls on the playground in fourth grade for my friend and really hurting my hip.
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Author:
Busy Philipps
Category:
Funny

I've always liked being...

Quote: I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.W. C.
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Author:
Fields
Category:
Funny

I cook with wine,...

Quote: I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't serious because I was smart. I wasn't like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious - like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school.
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Author:
J. Cole
Category:
Funny

I was just a...

Quote: You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.
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Author:
Al Franken
Category:
Funny

You know, Lincoln was...

Quote: Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing.
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Author:
Elle King
Category:
Funny

Sometimes I'm really funny,...

Quote: It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
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Author:
Joe Rogan
Category:
Funny

It's painful for me...

Quote: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. And if you do have to say it, make it really funny so I can screenshot it and save it for later.
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Author:
Sabrina Carpenter
Category:
Funny

If you don't have...

Quote: A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
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Author:
Oliver Herford
Category:
Funny

A woman's mind is...

Quote: Diane Keaton is good for women in and of herself. She's smart and funny and real.
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Author:
Gloria Steinem
Category:
Funny

Diane Keaton is good...

Quote: The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.
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Author:
Ray Stevens
Category:
Funny

The human brain is...

Quote: I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come up to me today, 'Your father helped my mother die.' You know what I'm saying? He made her laugh 'til she died. My father was always very funny.
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Author:
Joan Rivers
Category:
Funny

I truly think comedy...

Quote: There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
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Author:
Dennis Miller
Category:
Funny

There's nothing wrong with...

Quote: I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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Author:
Joan Rivers
Category:
Funny

I knew I was...

Quote: I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm.
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Author:
Kurt Fuller
Category:
Funny

I grew up as...

Quote: Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
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Author:
Robert Byrne
Category:
Funny

Until you walk a...

Quote: Although I have guitars all around, and I pick them up occasionally and write a tune and make a record, I don't really see myself as a musician. It may seem a funny thing to say. It's just like, I write lyrics, and I make up songs, but I'm not a great lyricist or songwriter or producer. It's when you put all these things together - that makes me.
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Author:
George Harrison
Category:
Funny

Although I have guitars...

Quote: If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like.
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Author:
William Feather
Category:
Funny

If you're naturally kind,...

Quote: One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
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Author:
Samuel Johnson
Category:
Funny

One of the disadvantages...

Quote: If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
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Author:
Theodore Roosevelt
Category:
Funny

If you could kick...

Quote: It's funny, because I have periods where I just kind of go dark. I don't tweet, I don't talk, I don't interview, and then I have times where I do.
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Author:
Lance Armstrong
Category:
Funny

It's funny, because I...

Quote: I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
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Author:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Category:
Funny

I saw a woman...

Quote: I never liked you, and I always will.
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Author:
Samuel Goldwyn
Category:
Funny

I never liked you,...

Quote: People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it's a way of pulling people in and not scaring them off. I think a lot of the funny stuff, underneath it, there's a deep anxiety going on.
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Author:
Nick Cave
Category:
Funny

People often can't separate,...

Joe Rogan: I had seen movies before that that had...

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