Gertrude Stein: I know what Germans are. They are a...

Quote	I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go. Copy
Author	Gertrude Stein
Category	Funny
Quote Length	Medium
Find on Amazon	Gertrude Stein

Quote: Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
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Author:
James A. Garfield
Category:
Funny

Man cannot live by...

Quote: Katy Perry still gets me every time. She's very funny in person! We met at the Teen Choice Awards and she pulled my cheeks apart and told me how cute I was. My life was literally flashing before my eyes!
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Author:
Niall Horan
Category:
Funny

Katy Perry still gets...

Quote: I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
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Author:
Charles M. Schulz
Category:
Funny

I love mankind; it's...

Quote: What is scary to me is silly to somebody else. CG isn't scary to me. It's like comedy - comedy and horror are quite similar, in that there'll always be somebody who'll say, 'I don't think that was funny.' And it's the same with things that are meant to be scary.
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Author:
Guillermo del Toro
Category:
Funny

What is scary to...

Quote: Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.
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Author:
Wavy Gravy
Category:
Funny

Keep your sense of...

Quote: There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
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Author:
Henry Kissinger
Category:
Funny

There cannot be a...

Quote: It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
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Author:
Thomas Sowell
Category:
Funny

It takes considerable knowledge...

Quote: It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.J. D.
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Author:
Salinger
Category:
Funny

It's funny. All you...

Quote: It's so funny, you go to acting school thinking you're going to learn how to be other people, but really it taught me how to be myself. Because it's in understanding yourself deeply that you can lend yourself to another person's circumstances and another person's experience.Lupita Nyong'o
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Author:
Lupita Nyongo
Category:
Funny

It's so funny, you...

Quote: I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
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Author:
Steve Martin
Category:
Funny

I've always believed that...

Quote: My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better.
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Author:
Carol Burnett
Category:
Funny

My favourite comedian, of...

Quote: What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern.
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Author:
Susan Orlean
Category:
Funny

What's funny is that...

Quote: I try to be funny and not ignorant.
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Author:
Kevin Hart
Category:
Funny

I try to be...

Quote: My mama never wore a pair of pants when I was growing up, and now that's all she wears. It was so funny for me when I first started seeing Mama wear pants. It was like it wasn't Mama. Now I've bought her many a pantsuit because she just lives in them.
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Author:
Dolly Parton
Category:
Funny

My mama never wore...

Quote: How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Author:
Spike Milligan
Category:
Funny

How long was I...

Quote: I love fools' experiments. I am always making them.
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Author:
Charles Darwin
Category:
Funny

I love fools' experiments....

Quote: You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.
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Author:
Steve Irwin
Category:
Funny

You know, you can...

Quote: I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning.
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Author:
Katy Perry
Category:
Funny

I wanted to be...

Quote: Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.
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Author:
Joan Rivers
Category:
Funny

Part of my act...

Quote: I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way.
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Author:
Joe Rogan
Category:
Funny

I wouldn't totally rule...

Quote: I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
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Author:
Paul Lynde
Category:
Funny

I sang in the...

Quote: Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
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Author:
Thomas Szasz
Category:
Funny

Two wrongs don't make...

Quote: I meditate and I also think about meditation. Which is funny. I think about Maharishi, about just the idea of meditating. It gives me something.
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Author:
Brian Wilson
Category:
Funny

I meditate and I...

Quote: Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
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Author:
Mel Brooks
Category:
Funny

Tragedy is when I...

Quote: Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural.Shaquille O'Neal
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Author:
Shaquille ONeal
Category:
Funny

Every time I do...

Quote: By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
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Author:
Richard Dawkins
Category:
Funny

By all means let's...

Quote: I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
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Author:
Robin Williams
Category:
Funny

I'm sorry, if you...

Quote: Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids.
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Author:
Jack Black
Category:
Funny

Back in the '70s,...

Quote: I have really fond memories of growing up in Chicago, and I always love going back. I still have a lot of really good friends from high school that I go to dinner with. It's kind of become a tradition when I go out there to do a show to give a few friends a call, tell some funny stories about high school and walk down memory lane.
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Author:
Kaskade
Category:
Funny

I have really fond...

Quote: Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Author:
Robert Orben
Category:
Funny

Older people shouldn't eat...

Gertrude Stein: I know what Germans are. They are a...

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