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Quote I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero imitative. He’s not a team player. He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee.
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Find on Amazon Ron Swanson

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So you talked to...
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When I eat, it...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When I eat, it is the food that is scared. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
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Fish, for sport only,...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
History began July 4th,...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
It’s always a good...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
You had me at...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation You had me at “meat tornado.” Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I've been developing the...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I've been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The government is a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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I am only here...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I am only here because I owe Leslie a thousand favors. I'm not big on charities. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Breakfast food can serve...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Breakfast food can serve many purposes. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Spending the day outside...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Spending the day outside alone sounds like a dream. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss: silence, the absence of noise, one single moment undisturbed by a children’s tv program called Doc McStuffins. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Dear frozen yogurt, you...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero Stars. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Fishing is for sport...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I call this turf...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16 oz T-bone and a 24 oz porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Dear frozen yogurt. You...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Dear frozen yogurt. You are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There are three acceptable...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There’s only on thin...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There’s only on thin I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Ron, would you like...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Ron, would you like a salad? Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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I work hard to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Crying: acceptable at funerals...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Veganism is the sad...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Just give me all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". Do you understand? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The whole point of...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There is only one...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There is only one bad word: taxes. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
America: The only country...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I think that all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I think that all government is a waster of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely by for profit corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Turkey can never beat...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Turkey can never beat cow. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I don’t want to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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