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Quote: Arthur C. Clarke Funny The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. Arthur C. Clarke Funny
Quote: Trevor Noah Funny Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing. Trevor Noah Funny
Quote: Ron Funches Funny Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' Ron Funches Funny
Quote: Matthew Lillard Funny I direct with energy. I believe in energy. I think energy is an electric thing in actors. I try to inspire, encourage, and make choices with lots of energy. And truth. I'm big fan of truth and being funny. I like leading 50 people into battle every day. Matthew Lillard Funny
Quote: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Funny Justice Scalia and I served together on the D.C. Circuit. So his votes are not surprising to me. What I like about him is that he's very funny and very smart. Ruth Bader Ginsburg Funny
Quote: Colin Kaepernick Funny It is funny to me that because I can run, because I'm athletic, people tend to see that as my only asset. Colin Kaepernick Funny
Quote: Joan Rivers Funny Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. Joan Rivers Funny
Quote: Tracee Ellis Ross Funny I don't really talk about my personal life. It's a strange and funny and weird thing. Sometimes you have a conversation with someone and the paparazzi snaps a picture of you and people decide you're dating. If I try to answer everything people say, I would be up all night. Tracee Ellis Ross Funny
Quote: Psy Funny I'm not that good looking. That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny. Psy Funny
Quote: Cameron Boyce Funny There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking jokes and yelling at people for no reason. It's pretty funny. He'll joke around during scenes, too. When he guest-starred on 'Jessie,' there was nothing in the script that he said first take. Cameron Boyce Funny
Quote: Jesse Ball Funny There's a misunderstanding about what nonsensical things are - the idea that they're just funny, and that's the beginning and the end of it. Nonsense is not 'not sense' - it operates at the edge of sense. It teems with sense - at the same time, it resists any kind of universal understanding. Jesse Ball Funny
Quote: Hannibal Buress Funny I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line. Hannibal Buress Funny
Quote: Hannah Simone Funny I love the funny and sweet moments I have with my cats, Jake and Frank, so I'm honored to be celebrating these moments at the Catdance Film Festival. Hannah Simone Funny
Quote: Joe Rogan Funny The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time. Joe Rogan Funny
Quote: Elayne Boosler Funny I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. Elayne Boosler Funny
Quote: Mike Rowe Funny It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' authentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host... It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it. Mike Rowe Funny
Quote: P. J. O'Rourke Funny A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers.P. J. O'Rourke P. J. O'Rourke Funny
Quote: Ed Sheeran Funny Try to find someone with a sense of humor. That's an important thing to have because when you get into an argument, one of the best ways to diffuse it is to be funny. You don't want to hide away from a point, because some points are serious, but you'd rather have a discussion that was a discussion, rather than an argument. Ed Sheeran Funny
Quote: Jo Nesbo Travel For many years, it seemed as if nothing changed in Norway. You could leave the country for three months, travel the world, through coups d'etat, assassinations, famines, massacres and tsunamis, and come home to find that the only new thing in the newspapers was the crossword puzzle. Jo Nesbo Travel
Quote: David Foster Love I'm probably wouldn't do anything differently if I had to do it again. Every little thing that happens to you, good and bad, becomes a little piece of the puzzle of who you become. Every successful person you read about - Warren Buffett, Bill Gates - they all say pretty much the same thing. 'Do what you love.' I know I did. David Foster Love
Quote: Connie Britton Birthday For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I'd just inherited my dad's turntable - gave me a carton of albums like 'Blue Kentucky Girl,' by Emmylou Harris, and 'Off the Wall,' by Michael Jackson. It's all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can't have a music collection without Prince's 'Purple Rain' - it just can't be done! Connie Britton Birthday
Quote: Alice in Wonderland I wonder if I've been changed in the night. Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle! Alice in Wonderland
Quote: David Horowitz Birthday If we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday at a time of presidential inaugurals, this is thanks to Ronald Reagan who created the holiday, and not to the Democratic Congress of the Carter years, which rejected it. David Horowitz Birthday