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Quote I want you to rub butter on my foot...Pam, please? I have Country Crock.
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Find on Amazon Michael Scott

Additional Quotes

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I have got to...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this. Michael Scott The Office
Well, I just think...
Quote: Phyllis Vance The Office Well, I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us. Phyllis Vance The Office
If you pray enough,...
Quote: Angela The Office If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person. Angela The Office
Who is Justice Beaver?...
Quote: Dwight Schrute The Office Who is Justice Beaver? Dwight Schrute The Office
Webster's Dictionary defines wedding...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as: The fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Michael Scott The Office
Identity theft is not...
Quote: Dwight The Office Identity theft is not a joke Jim. Millions of families suffer every year! Dwight The Office
I wake up every...
Quote: Stanley The Office I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well, I like pretzel day. Stanley The Office
I feel God in...
Quote: Pam Beesly The Office I feel God in this Chili’s tonight. Pam Beesly The Office
I'm making some cosmetic...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I'm making some cosmetic tweaks to help create a more appealing environment. Is that dishonest? Well, think of it this way: when you look in the mirror and you see your push-up bra and your fake eyelashes and your make-up and your press-on nails; the principles that I am applying to the office are the same ones that have made Lady Gaga a star... or any number of drag queens. Michael Scott The Office
Close your eyes. Picture...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What’s he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants… he says something ordinary like… ‘yo, thats shizzle.’ Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you. Michael Scott The Office

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I wish there was...
Quote: The Office I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them. The Office
Wikipedia is the best...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information. Michael Scott The Office
Do you think that...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Do you think that doing alcohol is cool? Michael Scott The Office
Dwight you ignorant sl**....
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Dwight you ignorant sl**. Michael Scott The Office
I haven't had so...
Quote: Erin Hannon The Office I haven't had so much fun since seeing Zooey Deschannel at the Coacharilla music festival. Erin Hannon The Office
Jim told me you...
Quote: Dwight Schrute The Office Jim told me you could buy gay-dar online. Dwight Schrute The Office
I'm sinking a few,...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I'm sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans! Michael Scott The Office
I hate so much...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I hate so much about the things you choose to be. Michael Scott The Office
You will not die!...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is President! You are black, Stanley! Michael Scott The Office
It's a pimple, Phyllis....
Quote: Michael Scott The Office It's a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive. Michael Scott The Office

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No, Rose, they are...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs...Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there? Michael Scott The Office
Sometimes The Clothes At...
Quote: The Office Sometimes The Clothes At Gap Kids Are Too Flashy, So I’m Forced To Go To The American Girl Store And Order Clothes For Large Colonial Dolls. The Office
This is our receptionist,...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now you should have seen her a couple years ago. Michael Scott The Office
When I die, I...
Quote: Dwight The Office When I die, I wanna be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died and what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in. Dwight The Office
If You Pray Enough,...
Quote: The Office If You Pray Enough, You Can Turn Yourself Into A Cat Person. The Office
Jim and I are...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work. Michael Scott The Office
It’s true. I’m having...
Quote: Jim The Office It’s true. I’m having a party. I’ve got three cases of imported beer, a karaoke machine, and I didn’t invite Michael. So three ingredients for a great party. And it’s nothing personal, I just think that if he were there, people wouldn’t be able to relax, and you know, have fun, and my roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks that I’m making Dwight up. [sighs] He is very real. Jim The Office
They say that your...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that's crazy. I say let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad. Michael Scott The Office
Bros before ho**. Why?...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Bros before ho**. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They've got your back after your hoe rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho*. And you told her she was the only ho* for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then, suddenly she is not your ho* no mo. Michael Scott The Office
Call me as ASAP...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Call me as ASAP as possible. Michael Scott The Office

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If you don’t get...
Quote: Socrates If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality. Socrates
Don’t listen to the...
Quote: Arnold Schwarzenegger Leadership Don’t listen to the naysayers. Make sure that you’re working your butt off. Make sure that you have a very clear vision of where you want to go. Don’t shoot for lower goals – shoot for the stars. Arnold Schwarzenegger Leadership
I am Michael, and...
Quote: Michael Scott I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish...sort of a virtual United Nations. Michael Scott
People are always coming...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office People are always coming to me. “Michael, I have a secret. Your the only one I trust. No thanks, because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. Like I was watching Cinemax last weekend. This movie, Portrait of a… Prostitute something. Secrets of a Call… More Secrets of a Call Girl. And the lead character, Shila, is framed for murder. She goes on the run and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu. I don’t, I don’t want to live like that. I like it here. I don’t want to be Shila, I like being Michael Scott. Michael Scott The Office
I plot the par...
Quote: Ernie Els Change I plot the par 5s back from the green and make my plan. If I can reach the green in two shots, I'm going to be aggressive off the tee. But if 's a three-shot hole, the goal changes. You want to put yourself in position to hit your favorite shot to the green. Ernie Els Change
If you don't get...
Quote: Socrates If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality. Socrates
Michael Scott's Dunder-Mifflin Scranton...
Quote: Pam Beesly The Office Michael Scott's Dunder-Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race For The Cure, this is Pam. Pam Beesly The Office
I like Michael Moore,...
Quote: P. J. O'Rourke Funny I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny. P. J. O'Rourke Funny
Yes it is true!...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Yes it is true! I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. I need a username and I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at. Michael Scott The Office
I am taking a...
Quote: Jan The Office I am taking a calculated risk. What’s the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self loathing. Downside? I, uh, date Michael Scott publicly and collapse in on myself like a dying star. Jan The Office