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Michael Scott : If you don't like it, Stanley, you can... Share
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Quote If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus...Or the front of the bus or drive the bus.
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Find on Amazon Michael Scott

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This is our receptionist,...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now you should have seen her a couple years ago. Michael Scott The Office
Toby is in HR...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. So he's not really a part of our family. Also he's divorced... so he's not really a part of his family. Michael Scott The Office
Saddle Shoes With Denim?...
Quote: The Office Saddle Shoes With Denim? I Will Literally Call Child Protective Services. The Office
Dwight you ignorant sl**....
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Dwight you ignorant sl**. Michael Scott The Office
It is St. Patrick's...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office It is St. Patrick's Day….It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas. Michael Scott The Office
It’s true. I’m having...
Quote: Jim The Office It’s true. I’m having a party. I’ve got three cases of imported beer, a karaoke machine, and I didn’t invite Michael. So three ingredients for a great party. And it’s nothing personal, I just think that if he were there, people wouldn’t be able to relax, and you know, have fun, and my roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks that I’m making Dwight up. [sighs] He is very real. Jim The Office
Close your eyes. Picture...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What’s he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants… he says something ordinary like… ‘yo, thats shizzle.’ Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you. Michael Scott The Office
Yes. I have decided...
Quote: Dwight Schrute The Office Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence. Dwight Schrute The Office
Yeah. Phyllis called me...
Quote: Jim Halpert The Office Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact. Jim Halpert The Office
No, I'm not going...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don't tell them. Michael Scott The Office

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Webster's Dictionary defines wedding...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as: The fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Michael Scott The Office
I have very little...
Quote: Kevin Malone The Office I have very little patience for stupidity. Kevin Malone The Office
Why tip someone for...
Quote: Dwight The Office Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist, because… I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones. Dwight The Office
I wake up every...
Quote: Stanley The Office I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well, I like pretzel day. Stanley The Office
When I die, I...
Quote: Dwight The Office When I die, I wanna be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died and what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in. Dwight The Office
That was offensive and...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office That was offensive and lame. So double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here. Michael Scott The Office
You will not die!...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is President! You are black, Stanley! Michael Scott The Office
A thirty year mortgage...
Quote: Dwight The Office A thirty year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people. Dwight The Office
It's simply beyond words....
Quote: Michael Scott The Office It's simply beyond words. It's incalculable. Michael Scott The Office
I want you to...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I want you to rub butter on my foot...Pam, please? I have Country Crock. Michael Scott The Office

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I want today to...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York. And if Toby is a part of it, then it'll suck. Michael Scott The Office
How would I describe...
Quote: Dwight The Office How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working. Alpha male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable. Dwight The Office
Any man who says...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. Michael Scott The Office
‘You miss 100% of...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office ‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.’ – Wayne Gretsky’ Michael Scott The Office
I never thought I'd...
Quote: Dwight Schrute The Office I never thought I'd say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow. Dwight Schrute The Office
It's not like booze...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office It's not like booze ever kil*** anyone. Michael Scott The Office
I have got to...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this. Michael Scott The Office
I don't understand. We...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I don't understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn't even work here. Michael Scott The Office
I don’t have a...
Quote: Dwight The Office I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires. But I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog. Dwight The Office
I taught Mike some,...
Quote: Darryl The Office I taught Mike some, uh, phrases to help with his interracial conversations. You know, stuff like, “Fleece it out. “Going mach five. “Dinkin’ flicka. You know, things us Negroes say. Darryl The Office

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You will not die!...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is President! You are black, Stanley! Michael Scott The Office
You think because he...
Quote: Toni Morrison Love You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgement and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn't be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, beacuse the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can't own a human being. You can't lose what you don't own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don't, do you? And neither does he. You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself. Toni Morrison Love
Don't ever, for any...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office Don't ever, for any reason, do anything for anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where. Or who, or who you are with, or where you are going or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever. Michael Scott The Office
I don't come up...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I don't come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another. Michael Scott The Office
Nobody likes beets, Dwight!...
Quote: Michael Scott Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy. Michael Scott
‘You miss 100% of...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office ‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.’ – Wayne Gretsky’ Michael Scott The Office
If you don't like...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus...Or the front of the bus or drive the bus. Michael Scott The Office
I don't hate it....
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all and it's terrible. Michael Scott The Office
People are always coming...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office People are always coming to me. “Michael, I have a secret. Your the only one I trust. No thanks, because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. Like I was watching Cinemax last weekend. This movie, Portrait of a… Prostitute something. Secrets of a Call… More Secrets of a Call Girl. And the lead character, Shila, is framed for murder. She goes on the run and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu. I don’t, I don’t want to live like that. I like it here. I don’t want to be Shila, I like being Michael Scott. Michael Scott The Office
I don't want any...
Quote: Michael Scott The Office I don't want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don't think that's too much to ask. Michael Scott The Office