Ruby Wax: I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where...

Quote	I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced. Copy
Author	Ruby Wax
Category	Funny
Quote Length	Short
Find on Amazon	Ruby Wax

Quote: One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
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Author:
Samuel Johnson
Category:
Funny

One of the disadvantages...

Quote: By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
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Author:
Richard Dawkins
Category:
Funny

By all means let's...

Quote: There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an actress. That's what I find so funny: that you become an actor, and all of a sudden, everyone wants to know about you. But I didn't become an actor so I could show you me.
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Author:
Margot Robbie
Category:
Funny

There's nothing I dislike...

Quote: There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.'
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Author:
Todd Phillips
Category:
Funny

There's a darkness under...

Quote: Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
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Author:
P. G. Wodehouse
Category:
Funny

Why don't you get...

Quote: My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool.
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Author:
Will Ferrell
Category:
Funny

My kind of wanting...

Quote: Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.
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Author:
Edward Abbey
Category:
Funny

Society is like a...

Quote: To me, the funniest American of the Twentieth Century is Richard Nixon because he had the most to hide, and he was so bad at hiding it. To me, that's what's really funny - people who think they're doing a great job of hiding stuff, and it just keeps leaking out.
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Author:
Harry Shearer
Category:
Funny

To me, the funniest...

Quote: Diane Keaton is good for women in and of herself. She's smart and funny and real.
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Author:
Gloria Steinem
Category:
Funny

Diane Keaton is good...

Quote: It's funny: I can never sleep between shows; I think it's because I don't like to switch the motor off. I'll probably have some chicken or pasta, though never the two together, and maybe go out for a quick wander around.
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Author:
Richard McCabe
Category:
Funny

It's funny: I can...

Quote: You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.
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Author:
Colin Quinn
Category:
Funny

You know, the funny...

Quote: Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural.Shaquille O'Neal
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Author:
Shaquille ONeal
Category:
Funny

Every time I do...

Quote: If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
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Author:
Tallulah Bankhead
Category:
Funny

If I had to...

Quote: The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
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Author:
Joe E. Lewis
Category:
Funny

The way taxes are,...

Quote: It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it.
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Author:
Owen Wilson
Category:
Funny

It's funny how it...

Quote: I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
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Author:
Joe E. Lewis
Category:
Funny

I distrust camels, and...

Quote: It seems like everybody's perception of me is very bipolar. To one group, it's overpaid, overrated; to another group, it's underpaid, underrated, underdog. It's funny to me because there's no real balance.
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Author:
Jeremy Lin
Category:
Funny

It seems like everybody's...

Quote: It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child.
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Author:
Dave Grohl
Category:
Funny

It's funny; recently I've...

Quote: The next time you have a thought... let it go.
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Author:
Ron White
Category:
Funny

The next time you...

Quote: Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids.
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Author:
Jack Black
Category:
Funny

Back in the '70s,...

Quote: Who included me among the ranks of the human race?
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Author:
Joseph Brodsky
Category:
Funny

Who included me among...

Quote: I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm.
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Author:
Kurt Fuller
Category:
Funny

I grew up as...

Quote: Never put a sock in a toaster.
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Author:
Eddie Izzard
Category:
Funny

Never put a sock...

Quote: God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones.
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Author:
Jerry Lewis
Category:
Funny

God hadn't made me...

Quote: James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.
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Author:
Will Ferrell
Category:
Funny

James Caan told me...

Quote: A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
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Author:
Yogi Berra
Category:
Funny

A nickel ain't worth...

Quote: I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved.
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Author:
Rose Kennedy
Category:
Funny

I'm like old wine....

Quote: There's a lot more to me than just funny.
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Author:
Steve Harvey
Category:
Funny

There's a lot more...

Quote: I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Author:
Fred Allen
Category:
Funny

I like long walks,...

Quote: I was funny in a way that was not dissing the teacher; I was funny just to be funny. A real charmer with a prominent mustache that he didn't know what to do with and a smart-alecky attitude.
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Author:
Jason Mantzoukas
Category:
Funny

I was funny in...

Ruby Wax: I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where...

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