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Quote It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
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Find on Amazon Ron Swanson

Additional Quotes

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You had me at...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation You had me at “meat tornado.” Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Fishing is for sport...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Leslie needs to butt...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Leslie needs to butt out. The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds, and die of a heart attack at 43, you can. You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I don’t want to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Spending the day outside...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Spending the day outside alone sounds like a dream. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss: silence, the absence of noise, one single moment undisturbed by a children’s tv program called Doc McStuffins. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
My idea of a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Veganism is the sad...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The government is a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
You’ve accidentally given me...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation You’ve accidentally given me the food that my food eats. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I work hard to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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America: The only country...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There are three acceptable...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Dear frozen yogurt. You...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Dear frozen yogurt. You are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The less I know...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Just give me all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". Do you understand? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
When I eat, it...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When I eat, it is the food that is scared. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Ron, would you like...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Ron, would you like a salad? Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Well, I am not...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Capitalism is the only...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Capitalism is the only way … It makes America great, England OK and France terrible. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I call this turf...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16 oz T-bone and a 24 oz porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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I am submitting this...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I am submitting this menu from a Pawnee institution, J.J.'s Diner. Home of the world's best breakfast dish: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Listen, I've eaten a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Listen, I've eaten a commissary hamburger for lunch every day for twelve years. I just wanted to make sure this pointless health crusade won't affect the only part of my job that I like. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I like Tom. He...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero imitative. He’s not a team player. He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Give a man a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There’s only on thin...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There’s only on thin I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
History began July 4th,...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I just want to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I just want to get the work over as soon as possible so I can do some fishing. Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga except I still get to kill something. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I was born ready....
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I was born ready. I'm Ron Fucking Swanson. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Am I interrupting anything...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Am I interrupting anything important? Impossible. I work for the government. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Strippers do nothing for...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Strippers do nothing for me…but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
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