Ellen DeGeneres: No matter how popular you are as a...

Quote	No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are. Copy
Author	Ellen DeGeneres
Category	Funny
Quote Length	Long
Find on Amazon	Ellen DeGeneres

Quote: The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.'
Copy
Author:
Richard Branson
Category:
Funny

The funny thing is...

Quote: Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Copy
Author:
Wilson Mizner
Category:
Funny

Gambling: The sure way...

Quote: We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes.
Copy
Author:
Colin Mochrie
Category:
Funny

We want to be...

Quote: I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me.
Copy
Author:
John Mulaney
Category:
Funny

I like making fun...

Quote: The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
Copy
Author:
Joe Rogan
Category:
Funny

The misconception is that...

Quote: I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Copy
Author:
Steve Martin
Category:
Funny

I like a woman...

Quote: Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.
Copy
Author:
Shah Rukh Khan
Category:
Funny

Without hurting anybody, we...

Quote: Any joke can be funny, but not any joke is funny. Any joke has the potential to be hilarious to you, but more importantly, the joke has the potential to not be funny to you but to someone else.
Copy
Author:
Phoebe Robinson
Category:
Funny

Any joke can be...

Quote: Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
Copy
Author:
Zach Galifianakis
Category:
Funny

Inappropriateness is funny to...

Quote: I find it so funny that people find me so interesting.
Copy
Author:
Britney Spears
Category:
Funny

I find it so...

Quote: I wasn't close to my father, but I wanted to be all my life. He had a funny sense of humor, and he laughed all the time - good and loud, like I do. He was a gay Irish gentleman and very good-looking. And he wanted to be close to me, too, but we never had much time together.
Copy
Author:
Judy Garland
Category:
Funny

I wasn't close to...

Quote: It's funny how I use social media because I don't use it to promote my restaurants that much. I use it for social issues and I think that's what it's for. I do a few things - I mess around with music a lot because that's a passion of mine. If something strikes me and I want to share it, I do.
Copy
Author:
Tom Colicchio
Category:
Funny

It's funny how I...

Quote: Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.
Copy
Author:
Thor Heyerdahl
Category:
Funny

Progress is man's ability...

Quote: I own and operate a ferocious ego.
Copy
Author:
Bill Moyers
Category:
Funny

I own and operate...

Quote: You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time.
Copy
Author:
Michael Schumacher
Category:
Funny

You win a race,...

Quote: That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
Copy
Author:
Jimmy Kimmel
Category:
Funny

That's my main flaw:...

Quote: Porsche is a driver's car - a performance car. That was funny - here's this awesome car, but it's got no cup holders.
Copy
Author:
Jason McCoy
Category:
Funny

Porsche is a driver's...

Quote: Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation.
Copy
Author:
Yara Shahidi
Category:
Funny

Scenes change all the...

Quote: I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
Copy
Author:
David Lee Roth
Category:
Funny

I used to jog...

Quote: But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work.
Copy
Author:
Jr.Robert Downey
Category:
Funny

But I think Kiss...

Quote: Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
Copy
Author:
P. G. Wodehouse
Category:
Funny

Why don't you get...

Quote: I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great.
Copy
Author:
Will Ferrell
Category:
Funny

I'd love to become...

Quote: Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny.
Copy
Author:
Ben Stein
Category:
Funny

Screaming at children over...

Quote: The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered.
Copy
Author:
Kevin Hart
Category:
Funny

The funny thing is,...

Quote: I can't stress to you enough how much I can relate to teens being cyberbullied. Something that helps me is looking at old videos of me and my friends from middle school, or videos of my family. I love watching funny videos of my favorite people - it really cheers me up.
Copy
Author:
Ariana Grande
Category:
Funny

I can't stress to...

Quote: I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Copy
Author:
Emo Philips
Category:
Funny

I was the kid...

Quote: There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny.
Copy
Author:
Billy Collins
Category:
Funny

There's something very authentic...

Quote: There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
Copy
Author:
Josh Billings
Category:
Funny

There's a great power...

Quote: The funny thing about directing is that you have your own opinions, but it's a collaboration. Directing is a group effort. Even though you might think something works, the smartest thing you can do as a director is try and weigh the opinions of the people around you.
Copy
Author:
Chris Evans
Category:
Funny

The funny thing about...

Quote: I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.
Copy
Author:
Stephen King
Category:
Funny

I guess when you...

Ellen DeGeneres: No matter how popular you are as a...

More Quotes