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P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

Explore inspirational quotes.

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A lot of newspaper... A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers.P. J. O'Rourke
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Agriculture is a business... Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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All religions must be... All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step.
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Americans are good at... Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it down and killing it.
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As I get older,... As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.
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Being a humorist is... Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
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Cleanliness becomes more important... Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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Don't send funny greeting... Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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I do have to... I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.
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I like Michael Moore,... I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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I think it's been... I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.
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Little islands of human... Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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My whole family can... My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.
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My wife and I... My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.
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Never fight an inanimate... Never fight an inanimate object.
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Positive rights are the... Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.
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The problem, when comparing... The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad.
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There is the love... There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have.
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