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Find on Amazon Rick (Rick and Morty)

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Listen, Jerry, I don’t...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Listen, Jerry, I don’t want to overstep my bounds or anything. It’s your house. It’s your world. You’re a real Julius Caesar, but I’ll tell you some, tell you how-how I feel about school, Jerry. It’s a waste of time, a bunch of people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, “two plus two.” The people in the back say, “four.” Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can take a dump or something. I mean, it’s—it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry, and I know that’s not a popular opinion, but it’s my two cents on the issue. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Rick, you brought me...
Quote: Abradolph Lincler (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Rick, you brought me into this World a suffering abomination, tortured by the duality of its being, but I shall finally know peace when I watch the life drain from your wretched body! Abradolph Lincler (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
The answer is Don't...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty The answer is Don't think about it. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
The teenage mind is...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty The teenage mind is its own worst enemy. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
I'm okay with this....
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty I'm okay with this. Be good, Morty. Be better than me. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Hey, Jerry, are you...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Hey, Jerry, are you in here being stupid? Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
You're young, you have...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut yet malleable. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
I hate to bust...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty I hate to bust your bubble Morty but love is a chemical reaction that compels animals to mate. It hits hard, then slowly fades leaving you floundering in a failing marriage. Break the cycle, Morty! Focus on Science. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
All right, all right,...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty All right, all right, cool it! I see what's happening here. You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen—I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Don't Jump a Gift...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Don't Jump a Gift Shark in the Mouth. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty

More Quotes

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It's like the N...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty It's like the N word and the C word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Parents are just kids...
Quote: Morty (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Parents are just kids having kids. Morty (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Listen, Morty, I hate...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Stop digging for hidden...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Stop digging for hidden layers and be impressed! I'm a Pickle! Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Oh, geez....
Quote: Morty (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Oh, geez. Morty (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Because I don't respect...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Because I don't respect Therapy. Because I'm a Scientist. Because I invent, transform, create and destroy for a living and when I don't like something about the World I change it. And I don't think going to some rented office in a strip mall to listen to an Agent of Averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I expect it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat but not something I want for myself. I'm not a cow! I'm a Pickle! When I feel like it. So, you asked... Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
There’s pros and cons...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty There’s pros and cons to [burps] every alternate timeline. Fun facts about this one: It’s got giant, telepathic spiders, eleven 9/11s, and the best ice cream in the multiverse! Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Having a family doesn’t...
Quote: Mr. Meeseeks (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Having a family doesn’t mean that you stop being an individual. You know the best thing you can do for the people that depend on you? Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free. Mr. Meeseeks (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
The universe is basically...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them. Smart people get a chance to climb on top, take reality for a ride, but it will never stop trying to throw you and eventually it will, there’s no other way off. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
If you ever have...
Quote: Jerry (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty If you ever have an affair with that guy I will come to your Hotel Room and blow my brains out over your naked bodies. Jerry (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty

Other Quotes

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He's not a hot...
Quote: Beth (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty He's not a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's. Beth (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
It might eat brains...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty It might eat brains and exhale Space AIDS! Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
What about the reality...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is: Don't think about it. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Lay it, lay it...
Quote: Chaos Chaos (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Lay it, lay it down. Let me see your hand. Show me what you got. You're always talking, but you're not playing. It doesn't match your face. 'Cos I'm away, away from this place. Can you take me now? Ah, I want it. I want it real. Are you afraid of me now? Are you afraid of me now? Do you feel it? Do you feel it? Do you feel that I can see your soul? Do you feel it? Do you feel it? Do you feel the beat in your heart? Ah, I want it. I want it real. Run away with me now. Ah, I want it. I want it real. Run away with me now. Chaos Chaos (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Those guys are inside...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan!! They're inside you building a monument to compromise!! Fuck them. Fuck those people. Fuck this whole thing Ethan. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Wow, I really Cronenberged...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Wow, I really Cronenberged up the whole place, huh Morty? Just a bunch a Cronenbergs walkin' around. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Ruben’s seen some rough...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Ruben’s seen some rough years, Morty. You don’t agree to get a theme park built inside you if your life is going great. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
I turned myself into...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty I turned myself into a pickle. I'm Pickle Riiiiick. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
I took your family”?...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty I took your family”? Who do you think had taken more from them when you shot 20 CCs of liquid dreamkiller into my daughter? She was Rick’s daughter, Jerry! She had options! That all ended because she felt sorry for you. You act like prey, but you’re a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That’s how you survive! I survive cause I know everything, that snake survives because children wander off, and you survive ‘cause people think, “Ooh, this poor piece of shit, he never gets a break! I can’t stand the deafening silent wails of his wilting soul! I guess I’ll hire him or marry him! Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty

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Listen to your sister,...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty, Sister Listen to your sister, Morty. To live is to risk it all, otherwise you’re just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you. Oh, I’m sorry, Jerry, I didn’t see you there, how much of that did you hear? Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty, Sister
I took your family”?...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty I took your family”? Who do you think had taken more from them when you shot 20 CCs of liquid dreamkiller into my daughter? She was Rick’s daughter, Jerry! She had options! That all ended because she felt sorry for you. You act like prey, but you’re a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That’s how you survive! I survive cause I know everything, that snake survives because children wander off, and you survive ‘cause people think, “Ooh, this poor piece of shit, he never gets a break! I can’t stand the deafening silent wails of his wilting soul! I guess I’ll hire him or marry him! Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
And that's why I...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty And that's why I always say Shlum-Shlum Shlippity-dop! Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Thanks, Mr Poopy Butthole....
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Thanks, Mr Poopy Butthole. I always could count on you. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
Those guys are inside...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan!! They're inside you building a monument to compromise!! Fuck them. Fuck those people. Fuck this whole thing Ethan. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
All right, all right,...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty All right, all right, cool it! I see what's happening here. You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen—I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
If you put down...
Quote: Steve Guttenberg Teacher If you put down a list of jobs, doctor, lawyer, janitor, teacher or movie star, everybody would pick the movie star. And why? So you could lie around the pool, drink margaritas and send money to your parents. So that's what I did. Steve Guttenberg Teacher
I reached a point...
Quote: Dick Cheney Good Morning I reached a point towards the end on the old heart where I had trouble getting out of a chair. All I wanted to do was get out of bed in the morning and walk to my office and sit back down in the chair. Now I throw 50 pound bags of horse feed in the back of my pickup truck and I don't even think about it. I'm back doing those things. Dick Cheney Good Morning
Listen, Jerry, I don’t...
Quote: Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty Listen, Jerry, I don’t want to overstep my bounds or anything. It’s your house. It’s your world. You’re a real Julius Caesar, but I’ll tell you some, tell you how-how I feel about school, Jerry. It’s a waste of time, a bunch of people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, “two plus two.” The people in the back say, “four.” Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can take a dump or something. I mean, it’s—it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry, and I know that’s not a popular opinion, but it’s my two cents on the issue. Rick (Rick and Morty) Rick and Morty
When you find a...
Quote: Shannon Alder Happiness, Happy When you find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stand in front of you when other’s cast stones, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who will hold your hand when your sick, who thinks your pretty without makeup, the one who turns to his friends and say, ‘that’s her’, the one that would bear your rejection because losing you means losing his will to live, who kisses you when you screw up, watches the stars and names one for you and will hold and rock that baby for hours so you can sleep…..you marry him all over again. Shannon Alder Happiness, Happy