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Ron Swanson: The government is a greedy piglet that suckles... Share
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Quote The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples.
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Find on Amazon Ron Swanson

Additional Quotes

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Fishing relaxes me. It’s...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga; except I still get to kill something. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
History began July 4th,...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I call this turf...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16 oz T-bone and a 24 oz porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Haircuts, there are three...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Haircuts, there are three acceptable haircuts: High and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Are the scissors broken in your house, son? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There are three acceptable...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Birthdays were invented by...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Strippers do nothing for...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Strippers do nothing for me…but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Child labor laws are...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Child labor laws are ruining this country. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Under my tutelage, you...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
My idea of a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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When I eat, it...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When I eat, it is the food that is scared. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Breakfast food can serve...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Breakfast food can serve many purposes. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Ron, would you like...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Ron, would you like a salad? Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I don’t want to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I just want to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I just want to get the work over as soon as possible so I can do some fishing. Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga except I still get to kill something. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Do you have any...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Do you have any history of mental illness in your family? I have an uncle who does yoga. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
When people get a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I work hard to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Dear frozen yogurt. You...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Dear frozen yogurt. You are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Leslie needs to butt...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Leslie needs to butt out. The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds, and die of a heart attack at 43, you can. You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

Other Quotes

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There is only one...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There is only one bad word: taxes. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There are only three...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Just give me all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". Do you understand? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Fishing is for sport...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The whole point of...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I’m a simple man....
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
It’s always a good...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Capitalism is the only...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Capitalism is the only way … It makes America great, England OK and France terrible. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Give a man a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Well, I am not...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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Similar Quotes to Ron Swanson: The government is a greedy piglet that suckles...

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Am I interrupting anything...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Am I interrupting anything important? Impossible. I work for the government. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I was born ready....
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I was born ready. I'm Ron Fucking Swanson. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I think that all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I think that all government is a waster of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely by for profit corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I've been quite open...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I've been quite open about this around the office: I don't want this parks department to build any parks because I don't believe in government. I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Piglet noticed that even...
Quote: A. A. Milne Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude. A. A. Milne
OK, everyone: shut up!...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation, Art OK, everyone: shut up! And look at me! Welcome to ‘Visions of Nature.’ This room has several paintings in it. Some are big, some are small. People did them and they’re here now. I believe that after this is over, they’ll be hung in government buildings. Why the government is involved in an art show is beyond me. I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they could just go outside and stand in it. Anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that I am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. End of speech. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation, Art
No matter how corrupt,...
Quote: Kurt Vonnegut Music No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious and charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful. Kurt Vonnegut Music
I like Tom. He...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero imitative. He’s not a team player. He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The government is a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
But Piglet is so...
Quote: A. A. Milne But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two. A. A. Milne