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Quote There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.
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Find on Amazon Ron Swanson

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Encapsulate the spirit of...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy. Easy. Boom, a sad desk. Boom, sad wall. It's art. Anything is anything. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Turkey can never beat...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Turkey can never beat cow. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The less I know...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I think that all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I think that all government is a waster of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely by for profit corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
When I walked in...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When I walked in this morning and saw that the flag was half-mast, I thought ‘All right, another bureaucrat ate it! Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I am only here...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I am only here because I owe Leslie a thousand favors. I'm not big on charities. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
My idea of a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I like Tom. He...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero imitative. He’s not a team player. He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Well, I am not...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Dear frozen yogurt. You...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Dear frozen yogurt. You are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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Crying: acceptable at funerals...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Just give me all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". Do you understand? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I was born ready....
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I was born ready. I'm Ron Fucking Swanson. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There is only one...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There is only one bad word: taxes. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I am submitting this...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I am submitting this menu from a Pawnee institution, J.J.'s Diner. Home of the world's best breakfast dish: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Do you have any...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Do you have any history of mental illness in your family? I have an uncle who does yoga. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
When I eat, it...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When I eat, it is the food that is scared. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
History began July 4th,...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Never half-ass two things....
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I work hard to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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Capitalism is the only...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Capitalism is the only way … It makes America great, England OK and France terrible. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I don’t want to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Dear frozen yogurt, you...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero Stars. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Listen, I've eaten a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Listen, I've eaten a commissary hamburger for lunch every day for twelve years. I just wanted to make sure this pointless health crusade won't affect the only part of my job that I like. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
So you talked to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation So you talked to Tammy? What's it like to stare into the eye of Satan's butthole? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I've been quite open...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I've been quite open about this around the office: I don't want this parks department to build any parks because I don't believe in government. I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I've been developing the...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I've been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Under my tutelage, you...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Am I interrupting anything...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Am I interrupting anything important? Impossible. I work for the government. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
When people get a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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Some animals utter a...
Quote: Aristotle Some animals utter a loud cry. Some are silent, and others have a voice, which in some cases may be expressed by a word; in others, it cannot. There are also noisy animals and silent animals, musical and unmusical kinds, but they are mostly noisy about the breeding season. Aristotle
There are two basic...
Quote: John Lennon Love There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life. John Lennon Love
Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion....
Quote: Lady Gaga Mother's Day Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me. Lady Gaga Mother's Day
There are three acceptable...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Haircuts, there are three...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Haircuts, there are three acceptable haircuts: High and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Are the scissors broken in your house, son? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There are three things...
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I heard that people...
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I've been developing the...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I've been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There can be no...
Quote: Malcolm X There can be no black-white unity until there is first some black unity. We cannot think of uniting with others, until after we have first united among ourselves. We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves. Malcolm X