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Ron Swanson: There is only one bad word: taxes....
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Ron Swanson: There is only one bad word: taxes.... Share
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Find on Amazon Ron Swanson

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When I eat, it...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When I eat, it is the food that is scared. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Child labor laws are...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Child labor laws are ruining this country. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
When people get a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Give a man a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I am only here...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I am only here because I owe Leslie a thousand favors. I'm not big on charities. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Encapsulate the spirit of...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy. Easy. Boom, a sad desk. Boom, sad wall. It's art. Anything is anything. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Fishing is for sport...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Am I interrupting anything...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Am I interrupting anything important? Impossible. I work for the government. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Just give me all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". Do you understand? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I think that all...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I think that all government is a waster of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely by for profit corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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Listen, I've eaten a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Listen, I've eaten a commissary hamburger for lunch every day for twelve years. I just wanted to make sure this pointless health crusade won't affect the only part of my job that I like. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Ron, would you like...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Ron, would you like a salad? Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
My idea of a...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The less I know...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Fishing relaxes me. It’s...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga; except I still get to kill something. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Turkey can never beat...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Turkey can never beat cow. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Dear frozen yogurt, you...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero Stars. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I've been developing the...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I've been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
So you talked to...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation So you talked to Tammy? What's it like to stare into the eye of Satan's butthole? Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I like saying ‘No,’...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I like saying ‘No,’ it lowers their enthusiasm. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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Well, I am not...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Well, I am not usually one for speeches. So, goodbye. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Spending the day outside...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Spending the day outside alone sounds like a dream. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss: silence, the absence of noise, one single moment undisturbed by a children’s tv program called Doc McStuffins. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Strippers do nothing for...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Strippers do nothing for me…but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
There are only three...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
The whole point of...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
You’ve accidentally given me...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation You’ve accidentally given me the food that my food eats. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Under my tutelage, you...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
You had me at...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation You had me at “meat tornado.” Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
I am submitting this...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation I am submitting this menu from a Pawnee institution, J.J.'s Diner. Home of the world's best breakfast dish: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation
Dear frozen yogurt. You...
Quote: Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation Dear frozen yogurt. You are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing. Ron Swanson Parks and Recreation

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Now I will tell...
Quote: George Orwell Now I will tell you the answer to my question. It is this. The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power, pure power. What pure power means you will understand presently. We are different from the oligarchies of the past in that we know what we are doing. All the others, even those who resembled ourselves, were cowards and hypocrites. The German Nazis and the Russian Communists came very close to us in their methods, but they never had the courage to recognize their own motives. They pretended, perhaps they even believed, that they had seized power unwillingly and for a limited time, and that just around the corner there lay a paradise where human beings would be free and equal. We are not like that. We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Power is not a means; it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now you begin to understand me. George Orwell
Two races share today...
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Exactly. By making him...
Quote: George Orwell Exactly. By making him suffer. Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation. Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery is torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but MORE merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress towards more pain. The old civilizations claimed that they were founded on love or justice. Ours is founded upon hatred. In our world there will be no emotions except fear, rage, triumph, and self-abasement. Everything else we shall destroy – everything. Already we are breaking down the habits of thought which have survived from before the Revolution. We have cut the links between child and parent, and between man and man, and between man and woman. No one dares trust a wife or a child or a friend any longer. But in the future there will be no wives and no friends. Children will be taken from their mothers at birth, as one takes eggs from a hen. The sex instinct will be eradicated. Procreation will be an annual formality like the renewal of a ration card. We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it now. There will be no loyalty, except loyalty towards the Party. There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother. There will be no laughter, except the laugh of triumph over a defeated enemy. There will be no art, no literature, no science. When we are omnipotent we shall have no more need of science. There will be no distinction between beauty and ugliness. There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. George Orwell
It takes three to...
Quote: Fulton J. Sheen Happiness, Happy It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God. Without God people only succeed in bringing out the worst in one another. Lovers who have nothing else to do but love each other soon find there is nothing else. Without a central loyalty life is unfinished. Fulton J. Sheen Happiness, Happy
I think there's something...
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I said, suppose you...
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Some animals utter a...
Quote: Aristotle Some animals utter a loud cry. Some are silent, and others have a voice, which in some cases may be expressed by a word; in others, it cannot. There are also noisy animals and silent animals, musical and unmusical kinds, but they are mostly noisy about the breeding season. Aristotle