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Steven Wright: What's another word for Thesaurus?... Share
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Find on Amazon Steven Wright

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Who picks your clothes...
Quote: Don Rickles Funny Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? Don Rickles Funny
Turn up the lights....
Quote: O. Henry Funny Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark. O. Henry Funny
Progress is man's ability...
Quote: Thor Heyerdahl Funny Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. Thor Heyerdahl Funny
Before the Kennedys were...
Quote: Letitia Baldrige Funny Before the Kennedys were elected, there had been older Presidents. Then here was this devastatingly attractive young couple with two beautiful children. They were so intelligent, graceful, gracious and funny. They enjoyed life so much. That's what caught America's eye. Letitia Baldrige Funny
It's so funny because...
Quote: Chrissy Teigen Funny It's so funny because my mom is Thai and my dad is this big American guy - and our food tastes were so similar growing up. He was meat and potatoes, I was meat and potatoes. Chrissy Teigen Funny
Comedy is only funny...
Quote: Sebastian Stan Funny Comedy is only funny when there's real pain. Sebastian Stan Funny
It's funny: people who...
Quote: Bill Engvall Funny It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. Bill Engvall Funny
It seems like everybody's...
Quote: Jeremy Lin Funny It seems like everybody's perception of me is very bipolar. To one group, it's overpaid, overrated; to another group, it's underpaid, underrated, underdog. It's funny to me because there's no real balance. Jeremy Lin Funny
Things that I feel...
Quote: Pete Davidson Funny Things that I feel really sad about, I talk about. That way, if it's funny, it doesn't hurt anymore. Pete Davidson Funny
My mum passing away...
Quote: Kevin Hart Funny My mum passing away wasn't funny, but that funeral and what I went through, the things that happened, looking back at it, there were funny moments. You have to be strong enough to look back at it, to sit and assess the situation. Kevin Hart Funny

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It is a scientific...
Quote: Dave Barry Funny It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. Dave Barry Funny
We, as Americans, at...
Quote: Peter Dinklage Funny We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like, our nationality, our country. But we're people from somewhere else; the true 'Americans' are the original peoples. It's funny, but we're a very territorial species. Peter Dinklage Funny
'Danger Girl' can be...
Quote: Megan Fox Funny 'Danger Girl' can be ridiculous, but sometimes it's funny. Megan Fox Funny
I used to be...
Quote: Chance The Rapper Funny I used to be the class clown. I was the funny kid. That's why it was so hard for people to understand that I rap, because for a long time, they didn't take me seriously for who I was. By, like, eighth grade, I was really rapping. Chance The Rapper Funny
We're a phenomenally snobby...
Quote: J. K. Rowling Funny We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. J. K. Rowling Funny
'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is...
Quote: Steve Martin Funny 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun. Steve Martin Funny
Do you know, it's...
Quote: Stevie Wonder Funny Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. Stevie Wonder Funny
Everyone who has ever...
Quote: Simone Elkeles Funny Everyone who has ever met me for at least five minutes knows I'm a really funny person. I love to laugh and to make people laugh, so writing comedy comes naturally to me. Simone Elkeles Funny
To handle that stardom,...
Quote: Roger Federer Funny To handle that stardom, the red carpets, the photo shoots, people all of a sudden recognizing you and following you in everyday life, it's a bit weird. It's strange, and it can have funny effects on you in terms of do you like it or don't you like it. Some people run away from it, some people embrace it; I found a good middle ground. Roger Federer Funny
I like being funny;...
Quote: Kyle Funny I like being funny; I like laughing with people. Kyle Funny

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I went window shopping...
Quote: Tommy Cooper Funny I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. Tommy Cooper Funny
The last time I...
Quote: Fred Allen Funny The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. Fred Allen Funny
You are not just...
Quote: Katie Nolan Funny You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. Katie Nolan Funny
I think my funny...
Quote: Dav Pilkey Funny I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much. Dav Pilkey Funny
As a small child,...
Quote: Ron White Funny As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. Ron White Funny
There's a lot more...
Quote: Steve Harvey Funny There's a lot more to me than just funny. Steve Harvey Funny
Always remember your kid's...
Quote: Amy Poehler Funny Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. Amy Poehler Funny
When I have had...
Quote: Amy Childs Funny When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries. Amy Childs Funny
I buy expensive suits....
Quote: Warren Buffett Funny I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. Warren Buffett Funny
Everything that used to...
Quote: Bill Maher Funny Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. Bill Maher Funny

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Similar Quotes to Steven Wright: What's another word for Thesaurus?...

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I basically started performing...
Quote: Robin Williams Funny I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. Robin Williams Funny
A little girl who...
Quote: Daniel Goleman Teacher A little girl who finds a puzzle frustrating might ask her busy mother (or teacher) for help. The child gets one message if her mother expresses clear pleasure at the request and quite another if mommy responds with a curt 'Don't bother me - I've got important work to do. Daniel Goleman Teacher
if you are unwilling...
Quote: Friedrich Nietzsche Nature if you are unwilling to endure your own suffering even for an hour, and ontinually forestall all possible misfortune, if you regard as deserving of annihilation, any suffering and pain generally as evil, as detestable, and as blots on existence, well, you have then, besides your religion of compassion, yet another religion in your heart (and this is perhaps the mother of the former)-the religion of smug ease. Ah, how little you know of the happiness of man, you comfortable and good-natured ones!for happiness and misfortune are brother and sister, and twins, who grow tall together, or, as with you, remain small together! Friedrich Nietzsche Nature
You may have noticed...
Quote: C. S. Lewis You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words: but most of your friends do not see it at all, and often wonder why, liking this, you should also like that. Again, you have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life; and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw -- but at the first words a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported. Even in your hobbies, has there not always been some secret attraction which the others are curiously ignorant of -- something, not to be identified with, but always on the verge of breaking through, the smell of cut wood in the workshop or the clap-clap of water against the boat's side? Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it -- tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest -- if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself -- you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say "Here at last is the thing I was made for". We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all. C. S. Lewis
What's another word for...
Quote: Steven Wright Funny What's another word for Thesaurus? Steven Wright Funny
Becoming a father increases...
Quote: Kyle MacLachlan Life Becoming a father increases your capacity for love and your level of patience. It opens up another door in a person - a door which you may not even have known was there. That's what I feel with my son. There's suddenly another level of love that expands. My son is my greatest joy, out of everything in my life. Kyle MacLachlan Life
Can I see another's...
Quote: William Blake Sad Can I see another's woe, and not be in sorrow too? Can I see another's grief, and not seek for kind relief? William Blake Sad
Are not lifelong friendships...
Quote: C. S. Lewis Life Are not lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? You have never had it. C. S. Lewis Life
My mother and sister...
Quote: Albert Einstein Mother's Day, Sympathy, Sister, Mom My mother and sister seem somewhat petty and philistine to me, despite the sympathy I feel for them. It is interesting how gradually our life changes us in the very subtleties of our soul, so that even the closest of family ties dwindle into habitual friendship. Deep inside we no longer understand one another, and are incapable of actively empathizing with the other, or knowing what emotions move the other. Albert Einstein Mother's Day, Sympathy, Sister, Mom
Begin each day by...
Quote: Marcus Aurelius Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man’s two hands, feet or eyelids, or the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature’s law – and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction. Marcus Aurelius