Roger Moore: You can't be a real spy and have...

Quote	You can't be a real spy and have everybody in the world know who you are and what your drink is. That's just hysterically funny. Copy
Author	Roger Moore
Category	Funny
Quote Length	Medium
Find on Amazon	Roger Moore

Quote: No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
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Author:
Abraham Lincoln
Category:
Funny

No man has a...

Quote: The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.
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Author:
Bill Gates
Category:
Funny

The 'Billionaire' song is...

Quote: The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.'
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Author:
Richard Branson
Category:
Funny

The funny thing is...

Quote: For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think I'm decently funny.' But unless you just have some massive ego, I really think you're still fighting against that.
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Author:
Will Ferrell
Category:
Funny

For people who have...

Quote: Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
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Author:
H. L. Mencken
Category:
Funny

Marriage is a wonderful...

Quote: My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.
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Author:
Mike Myers
Category:
Funny

My father was always...

Quote: When a dramatic actor does a funny film, people are like, 'Wonderful! I didn't know he was funny!' But when it flips, people can get really thrown by it.
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Author:
Will Ferrell
Category:
Funny

When a dramatic actor...

Quote: Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.
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Author:
Michael Caine
Category:
Funny

Funny things happen to...

Quote: Instant gratification takes too long.
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Author:
Carrie Fisher
Category:
Funny

Instant gratification takes too...

Quote: We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.
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Author:
J. K. Rowling
Category:
Funny

We're a phenomenally snobby...

Quote: Macho does not prove mucho.
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Author:
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Category:
Funny

Macho does not prove...

Quote: My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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Author:
Billy Connolly
Category:
Funny

My definition of an...

Quote: As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
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Author:
Buddy Hackett
Category:
Funny

As a child my...

Quote: So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?
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Author:
Christina Aguilera
Category:
Funny

So, where's the Cannes...

Quote: When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
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Author:
Henny Youngman
Category:
Funny

When God sneezed, I...

Quote: I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it.
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Author:
Denis Leary
Category:
Funny

I write what I...

Quote: I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me.
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Author:
John Mulaney
Category:
Funny

I like making fun...

Quote: In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.
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Author:
Rosie Perez
Category:
Funny

In my circle of...

Quote: I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.
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Author:
Angelina Jolie
Category:
Funny

I am odd-looking. I...

Quote: I wasn't close to my father, but I wanted to be all my life. He had a funny sense of humor, and he laughed all the time - good and loud, like I do. He was a gay Irish gentleman and very good-looking. And he wanted to be close to me, too, but we never had much time together.
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Author:
Judy Garland
Category:
Funny

I wasn't close to...

Quote: It usually takes two people a little while to learn where the funny buttons are and testy buttons are.
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Author:
Matt Lauer
Category:
Funny

It usually takes two...

Quote: Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
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Author:
Hedy Lamarr
Category:
Funny

Any girl can be...

Quote: I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people.
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Author:
Jon Hamm
Category:
Funny

I had no desire...

Quote: Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker.
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Author:
Pippa Evans
Category:
Funny

Until I was about...

Quote: Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
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Author:
Joey Adams
Category:
Funny

Do not worry about...

Quote: Cure for an obsession: get another one.
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Author:
Mason Cooley
Category:
Funny

Cure for an obsession:...

Quote: I'm not funny. What I am is brave.
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Author:
Lucille Ball
Category:
Funny

I'm not funny. What...

Quote: The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
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Author:
Seann William Scott
Category:
Funny

The surprising thing is...

Quote: Every man has a sane spot somewhere.
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Author:
Robert Louis Stevenson
Category:
Funny

Every man has a...

Quote: Communism is like one big phone company.
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Author:
Lenny Bruce
Category:
Funny

Communism is like one...

Roger Moore: You can't be a real spy and have...

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